Saturday, January 11, 2020

Love Believes

I've always believed in romance. 

Even when it seemed like it was just a fantasy created for gullible people like me so they wouldn't give up on life after being single for what seemed like forever. After two failed marriages and being a single mom for seven years I had actually started to doubt in romance and happily ever after. I felt like life had lied to me and I had a really hard time writing about true love and soulmates when it seemed pretty obvious I was writing a lie. I still had that belief hidden deep inside. 

One night, shortly after my divorce, I was feeling particularly lonely and sad over the loss of my dream of happily ever after. Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the whispering echoes of the many romances I'd read over the years, but something made me open my journal and start to write. What  I wrote about that night was the image of a man my heart had been looking for. In vivid and intimate detail I described him. How he would treat me. His likes and dislikes, his height and body type, even the color of his eyes and hair. Nothing was left out, down to the most intimate details of his physique. I wasn't leaving anything to chance. Deep in my broken heart was a spark of hope, a prayer that if he was out there, somehow we would be united. 

It was seven years and countless encounters with Mr. Wrong before the man who is now my husband finally found me. In that time I would meet men who made my heart perk up and start to hope. It would seem like perhaps he could be the man I'd been looking for, but then I'd remember my journal and go read that entry to see how he measured up. There was always something missing. Something not quite there. He didn't play an instrument or get along with my kids or wasn't financially stable. By the time I met my husband I had almost forgotten about the entry because it seemed no man was ever going to meet every quality. 

The night we met we both felt something strongly for the other and what was supposed to be a Friday night dinner date ended Sunday morning. Three months after we started dating something made me think about that journal entry and I dug it out again. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Years before I met him, I had described my husband down to the most intimate detail! Literally every single quality and trait I had listed was there. It was as if I had known him and was describing him. Chills ran down my spine when I realized how accurately I had pictured him. I showed him and he almost didn't believe me, until I showed him the date I had written it. 

That's when I began to believe in romance again. Until my own true life romance story happened I was sure it was all just hogwash. My husband made me believe that romance in real life is actually possible with the little things he does for me every day. His passion for me and fierce love of who I am still amazes me. He never asked me to change one thing about myself, and I am far from perfect! He adores all my faults and sees beauty in me when I can't. Every morning when he gets to work he sends me a sweet text telling me he loves me, and he has done this every day since we met. That's just a small sample of how he had made me believe in romance again. 

Because of him I've gone back to writing - romance stories about love and hope. This world can be a harsh place when you're alone and I want to give others hope. It happened to me and it can happen for you too. Just believe!